In Netflix's third Polish bonkfest, a once-proudly yuck premise is reduced to a limp love triangle between deeply boring hotties.
It has taken Barbara Biaowas and Tomasz Mandes 114 days to follow up their 2020 Netflix-busting softcore phenom, "365 Days," in a shocking abrogation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
Following "365 Days: This Day" with its Steadicam and bullets, "The Next 365 Days" returns fans and contractually obligated observers to Laura's (Anna-Maria Sieklucka) erotic adventures.
Massimo (Michele Morrone), one of the streaming era’s favorite overs*x, underclad rape-apologists. It's a great time to be alive.
Massimo, her hulking mafiaso kidnapper-husband, grieves at her gravestone obscured by his ludicrously broad shoulders once again, as we're teased with her possible death.
Koncki's costumes always hover between being tailored to sculptural tightness, and just being too small.)
While trying on a wedding dress, Olga (Magdalena Lamparska) sobs about missing Laura: She's now engaged to Domenico (Otar Saralidze), Massimo's consigliere.
Based on the final novel, it is unlikely that "The Next 365 Days" will be the last "365 Days". There is only a wailing rawk crescendo and a deranged camera looping around two stars for resolution.
"I need more time," Laura husks repeatedly to Nacho, Massimo, Olga, and to the warm wind that tousles her hair.
Netflix's accountancy department offers a prayer that there will be many more "365 Days" to come despite her deeply uninvolving romantic dilemma.